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Therapy With AB

  • About
  • What I Treat
  • What I Offer ↓
    • Individual & Couples Therapy
    • Breathwork Coaching
    • Intuitive Healing Careers
  • Blog
  • Contact/FAQs

Like Parent Like Partner: Do We Really Seek Partners Who Remind us of Our Parents?

September 5, 2023 alana barlia
two adults in a field holding hands showing attachment to eachother.

Do we REALLY seek relationships with partners who remind us of our parents? The short answer is - YES. Read more on why.

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Tags attachment, early attachment, parental attachment, attachment theory, narcissistic parenting, narcissistic partner, narcissistic relationships, codependency, codependent relationships

How to Spot a Narcissist - 5 Signs to Look For

September 5, 2023 alana barlia
an empty wooden bench on the bank of a river or pond.

Ever wonder if somebody in your life has narcissistic personality traits? Here are 5 signs to help you spot a narcissist in your life.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic parenting, narcissistic relationships, narcissism, narcissistic partner, codependent relationships, codependent, codependency, people pleasing, perfectionism, alanon

How Do I Manage Other's Expectations Of Me? And Is That My Responsibility?

April 4, 2022 alana barlia
two people holding coffee mugs at a table discussing mental health topics.

Expectations are essential to relationships. They act as safeguards, and protect our boundaries from being crossed. But what happens when expectations in a relationship are misaligned? Who’s responsibility is this, and what can we do to manage this?

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Tags expectations, relationships, narcissistic relationships, people pleasing, perfectionism, codependency, codependent, codependent relationships, couples therapy, couples counseling, conflict resolution

The Narcissistic Mother Wound_And How To Heal

February 25, 2022 alana barlia
a young mother and her daughter being silly and sticking their tongues out together on the streeet.

This post reflects on the specific treatment of daughters by narcissistic mothers. There are actionable steps that you can take if you have experienced narcissistic parenting, and this post aids in exploring some of those options.

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Tags narcissistic parenting, parenting, narcissistic abuse, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, emotional abuse, emotional dysregulation, emotional trauma, sympathetic nervoyus system, inner child wound, autonomic nervous system, vagus nerve, breathwork, trauma, body trauma, inner child, mother-daughter, mother daughter relationship

My Partner is Showing Signs of a Personality Disorder: But Which One?

September 20, 2021 alana barlia
A couple sitting on a bench looking at San Fransisco Bay and bridge viewed from behind.

Feeling unsafe in your relationship with your partner? Or wondering if they are exhibiting tendencies of a personality disorder? Here is a summarized look at the similarities and differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder as it relates to intimate partner relationships.

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Tags personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, signs of borderline personality disorder, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, cycle of abuse, abusive relationships, mental health

Narcissistic Parenting and the Cycle of Abuse Part II: The Inner Child Wound

July 1, 2021 alana barlia
woman giving a piggy back ride to small child up a rising road in the fall.

Years long chaos and unpredictability with a narcissistic parent will lead children to seek solace through perfectionism and codependency. Here we explore the inner-child wound that evolves through narcissistic parenting abuse.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, personality disorder, narcissism, narcissistic parenting, parenting, codependency, perfectionism, inner child wound

Narcissistic Parenting and the Cycle of Abuse: Part I

July 1, 2021 alana barlia
close up of legs crossed and a woman's hand resting on top of book titled, "Parenting" by Tripp.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder in a parent deeply affects children. Here I explore the cycle of abuse that ensues when a parent struggles with NPD.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism, personality disorder, emotional abuse, emotional dysregulation, central nervous system, mental health, codependency

How To: Effectively Set Boundaries

October 12, 2020 alana barlia
A red stop sign at a crossroads surrounded by rugged, sandstone terrain.

Struggling with setting effective boundaries in your life? Boundaries are lines we will not cross, and they are essential to the health of our relationships, especially our relationship with our self. Check out some of these ‘how to’ tips on effective boundary setting.

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Tags boundaries

Who are "Highly Sensitive People?"

October 12, 2020 alana barlia
A close up of cactus needles with more cacti in background.

About 20% of the population experiences a highly sensitive nervous system, meaning that our nervous system responds longer and more deeply to external stimuli. This makes it difficult to regulate our emotions, leading to reactions and behaviors that may not be appropriate to our environment. Are you part of the 20%?

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The Science Behind Toxic Relationships, And Breaking Free

October 12, 2020 alana barlia
Silhouette of two bicyclists against a vibrant evening sky. The first reach back to hold hands.

If you’re struggling within an unhealthy relationship, let’s explore some of the points to look out for - trauma bonds, toxic relationships, and emotional abuse. Let’s also take a look at some ways to begin to cultivate independence and find safety.

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Physiological Effects of Trauma - And How You Can Self-Heal

February 21, 2020 alana barlia
a hand reaching towards the sun shining through tall, lush trees.

Ever wonder how trauma is being held in the body? This post focuses on how and where trauma is held in the body and how one can use their tools and resources to self-heal.

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Tags trauma, traumatized, vagus nerve, body trauma, emotional trauma, invalidating environment, emotional dysregulation, BPD, borderline personality disorder, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder

5 Myths about Borderline Personality Disorder

February 21, 2020 alana barlia
Woman in running attire with hands on top of her head on a trail in the country side.

There are a lot of myths out there about Borderline Personality Disorder, and it can be difficult to sift through what’s real and what’s not. Read on to learn about some of the myths I have debunked about Borderline Personality Disorder.

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Tags borderline, borderline personality disorder, BPD, mental health, depression, anxiety, emotional dysregulation, Highly Sensitive Nervous System, highly sensitive people

Tell-Tale Signs of Narcissistic Abuse, and Some Helpful Tips to Remain Safe

February 21, 2020 alana barlia
A pink paper heart strung on a red and white string that is half ripped in half against black.

Ever have the feeling you are living with a narcissist? Unsure what some of the signs of narcissistic abuse are? Read on to learn more about the tell-tale signs of narcissistic abuse.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissism, abuse, emotional abuse, codependent, couples therapy, marriage counseling, personality disorder, codependency, couples counseling, depression, trauma

Supporting a Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder

February 21, 2020 alana barlia
A man embracing a women at the end of a dock on a wet, gray day.

Are you or your partner struggling with emotional dysregulation or Borderline Personality Disorder? Read on to learn about how you can best support each other.

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Tags personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, couples therapy, couples counseling, marriage counseling, couples, boundaries, signs of borderline personality disorder, depression, bipolar disorder

Core Beliefs and the Manifestation of Positive Energy

February 20, 2020 alana barlia
A mirror reflection of thousands of golden-lit lanterns at night.

Feeling stuck? Working through some of your core beliefs will allow you to manifest positive energies into your life. Read on to learn how!

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Tags core beliefs, manifestation, manifest, positive energy, emotional dysregulation, trauma, finding a partner, anxiety
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email: alana@therapywithab.com

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